The most important thing you could ever do is learn to love yourself, but sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes we lose sight of ourselves in the midst of all the pain and suffering. So how do you get back on track? How do you come out of this stronger, wiser, and happier than ever?
Ask yourself this very important question.
What do you want? What do you really REALLY want? Don’t give me some “Miss America” answer like “world peace.” I want you to be completely honest with yourself. It’s ok to be selfish here. Do you want to finally write that book? Do you want to get your dream job? Do you want to find love? What is it? Be real with yourself and don’t feel bad about your answer. Who cares what your significant other wants, what your ex wanted, or what old man Lloyd down the street wants? What do YOU want? Think about it… ok. You got it? Good. Now…
Take Heath’s advice to heart.
You know what your heart desires most. Now don’t let anyone take that from you. If you’re willing to put in the work to get it, then you deserve it. You deserve love. You deserve that dream job. You deserve that grade. You’re the one that has to live your life, so don’t let anyone else tell you how to live it. Determine what you want and go. get. it.
Pamper yourself. Seriously.
Light some candles. Relax in a hot bubble bath. Use your favorite face mask and pour yourself your favorite drink. Get your nails done, buy your favorite ice cream, curl up in bed, and put on your favorite movie. Buy yourself something nice. That limited edition blush you’re dying to own, the video game all your friends are talking about, or heck get ’em both! Give yourself permission to do nothing, but focus on you.
Get some sleep, babe.
I know you’ve probably heard this a million times, but take it from someone with generalized anxiety. Staying awake into the early hours of the morning is only going to make you feel lonely and cause the overthinking to go into overdrive. Whenever I have trouble sleeping and can’t seem to silence my thoughts, I put my favorite “chill” music on really low and focus on the music (I strongly recommend anything by James Taylor). So, close your eyes and get some much needed rest. Give yourself a break so you can wakeup refreshed and ready for the new day. Remember that everyday is a second chance and you want to be ready when the sun rises.
You have every right to embrace what you feel and make a change. Unapologetically.
That feeling in your stomach is trying to tell you something. If you’re feeling down on yourself it means your needs are not being met. The good news? You don’t need anyone else to give you what you need. If you need food, you get food. It’s the same concept with your emotional needs. If you don’t feel attractive, wear clothes that make you feel confident. If you’re bored with your life, go visit a new place or simply take a different way home. If you don’t feel loved, show yourself respect like you would a friend. If anyone questions you or reacts to your newfound confidence by saying “you’ve changed” don’t apologize. Remember that happy, healthy people are constantly be growing and changing. Don’t deny yourself the basic things that you and every other human needs because of what you think others will say or think. It’s not selfish. It’s essential.
Stop putting yourself down for the sake of others.
This is not the same as “put other’s first.” Don’t stop feeding the needy and being gentle to those you come in contact with. Do stop calling yourself ugly in an attempt to make a friend feel better about themselves. Stop staying silent when you have every right to defend yourself and voice your opinions. Stop betraying yourself in order to allow any given person to get what they want from you. It’s your body, your heart, your mind, and YOU get to decide who gets what parts of you. You decide who to trust, who to love, what you want to dedicate your life to, what clothes you want to wear, and if you want to go out Saturday night. Stop making yourself uncomfortable just so all the people that don’t matter with “like you.”
You have to know yourself and OWN IT.
You’re never going to please everyone. Why would you want to anyway? Do you realize how exhausting that would be? To constantly change yourself in hopes of making someone like you is a ridiculous and unrealistic idea that would make anyone miserable. The only person you have to make comfortable and happy is yourself. Don’t apologize for who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong for being authentic. Take some time to really know yourself, your dreams, and your needs. Then OWN. IT. And if you’re worried about what people will think of you, always remember…
Keeping It Kristy 